Monday, July 18, 2011

Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back Quickly Without Driving Her Further Away From You

Are you serious about learning what to do to get your ex girlfriend back? You may say, 'yes.' But you should mean this. Please realize is that your girl friend may  no longer trust you or believe what you say.. the silver lining is that she  may still love you even though since she broke up with you because of her perception that  you treated her so badly. Here is a step by step approach to get your girlfriend quickly without driving her further away.

1) Figure out the reason, or reasons, why you treated her so badly in the first place. It is a fact of life that everything that happens, happens for some reason and everything has its own special set of consequences, good or bad. If you really want a second chance with your ex girlfriend, you need to figure out why you act and say the things you do. Then, when you have things figured out you need to find ways to change your behavior and that will probably will take some time.

2) When someone behaves badly, it is possibly due to their insecurities coming to the forefront because they do not know how to handle a situation correctly. People may not accept this but usually that is the reason. Contrary to popular belief, money is not the root of all evil, insecurity is.

3) Are over-compensating because you feel inadequate and do you think that by acting like a 'big man' and letting your girl know 'who is the boss'; you are some how "more of a man" ? You need to think again. This is one of the surest signs that you are actually not 'the big man' and that you are in fact a scared little boy who desperately wants the love of your woman but are too afraid to let her know that or ask for it.

She probably already does know that, on some level at least. Everyone can see when someone is trying to over-compensate. It's very common, you see it all the time. The guy with the really loud motorcycle, or another guy will treat his girl like garbage, still another guy will try to prove he is a man by sleeping with every woman out there but none of these things is the way to get your ex girlfriend back.

If you really are a secure man, you won't need to work so hard to try and prove it. If you concentrate all your efforts on being a decent, caring, honest human being those around you will have more respect and trust for you and if you really want to be the 'big man' that is a much better way to go about it than all the other BS.

4) Don't expect your ex girlfriend to trust you right away. No matter how hard you may try to convince her that you've changed, actions speak louder than words and if you're really serious about getting her back you will have to show her that you have changed. That will take time.  If you're not willing to invest that time it is best that you just let her go to find someone else who can treat her the way she deserves to be treated and forget about trying to get your ex girlfriend back.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Break Up Help - Available Right Here - Have It Right Now

Are you looking for break up help? Probably, since you are reading this. If your relationship is on the verge of a break up, here is help you can avail of.. We can help you to understand to get the relationship fixed. Obviously, there are things you should do and things you shouldn't .

Things you shouldn't do:
You shouldn't ever break up with someone over the phone or by text or email. This is just about the tackiest thing you could do. Break up with them in person, in private. Don't humiliate them by breaking up in public. You will have more respect for yourself and they will have more respect for you.

Obviously, if your significant other has a tendency to become violent this advice will not apply to your situation. Stay safe and handle the break up over the phone or in a very public place.

Being honest is vital, but if the reason you need break up help is that you have met someone else, keep that information to yourself. If they ask, don't tell them.

I know this sounds contradictory but you will hurt them more if you tell them. There is no point in causing them more pain than they feel already. Go ahead and start your new relationship, but do yourself a favor and try to go to different restaurants and clubs, at least for a while.  Make your new memories together in new places, special to just the two of you.

Plan out what you want to say before hand because no matter how you feel you will be nervous when breaking up with them. Stand your ground. You have made this decision  for a reason so stick to it. You will sound less convincing if you try to let them down easy. They will be just as hurt either way so state your reasons calmly and confidently. The respect thing comes in to play here again.

After the break up, don't call your ex for any reason and don't take their calls. This will only give them false hope and keep the hurt fresh in both your minds. Don't kid yourself, you will feel a sense of loss after the break up, too. Change the habits the two of you had.  Go to a different coffee house to get your morning coffee and find a new spot to eat your meals. You do not want to run into your ex accidentally. 

If you haven't already met someone new, it's probably best to hold off on dating for a while. Rebound relationships almost never work and you do not need any more drama or grief. You may have had more time to process the break up, but you should still give yourself additional time to adjust to your new single life. Even if you're the one who ended the relationship, you can be susceptible to getting into a rebound relationship too, so give yourself some time.

You should be aware that things can be tough whether you have contributed to the break up or not. Unless you are fed up with your ex, you will like to find a way to restore the relationship.The suggestions given above will provide all the break up help you need.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

How To Avoid The Common Mistakes Of A Dumped Boyfriend

David is now  a dumped boyfriend but he has to take the blame himself  for this.  It happened with David attending  a party one night with some friends. His girlfriend Sally couldn’t go because she was busy that night. David drank a little too much and spent time with some girl he didn’t even know.  As can be expected, Sally got the news through some people who were present in the party..

When Sally found out that Daddy had been unfaithful, she called him up and , she told him she never wanted to see him again. This happened amidst a lot of crying, yelling and name calling

David felt terrible and knew that what he did was wrong and wished he could go back in time and not let it happen.  On the other hand, he didn’t think that his one mistake was enough to end the relationship over.

David decided the relationship was worth saving and started taking steps to win Sally back.  But silly James really didn’t know the best way to win back a broken heart and did it all wrong!

The first thing David did wrong was when Sally called him, instead of apologizing for his mistake he just grovelled and begged Sally to take him back.  This is the wrong time for begging as Sally is very angry and in no mood for grovelling and begging.

Then David proceeded to aggressively pursue her and not give her time to deal with what happened.  David sent Sally over 100 texts during the next week and called her three or four times a day and often during the night.

After a week of relentlessly bugging Sally, David got really desperate and went to her house and sang love songs outside her bedroom window.  It wasn't long before the neighbors called the police.

David realized that none of his tactics were working so decided to try something different.  He decided to try the jealousy tactic and proceeded to ask out one of Sally's friends.

Sally's friend agreed to go out on a date with James and the news soon got back to Sally, just as David had hoped it would.  JDavid thought that when Sally heard he was dating her friend, that she would be jealous and beg him to come back to her.  But Sally wasn't jealous; it had the opposite effect and made Sally furious.  Sally knew that David was dating her friend to get back at her and she was also angry at her friend for dating her ex boyfriend.

So here did David go wrong and what could he have done things differently?

Well the first obvious mistake was when David drank too much and made out with another girl.  Silly mistake that shouldn't have been made in the first place – mistake number one!  However, even with such a mistake a relationship can be saved if the right steps are taken.

David grovelled and begged Sally immediately and then proceeded to hound her with texts and phone calls.  He didn’t give her time to breath, he didn't give her space and at that point in time she needed some space to take in what had happened and decide whether she wanted to salvage the relationship or not.  David, the dumped boyfriend, didn't give her the space she needed – that was mistake number two!

David asked Sally's friend out on a date to make her jealous.  Mistake number three!  Sally isn't stupid and she knew what he was playing at and this just made her angry.

If David had really wanted to salvage this relationship he should have apologized to Sally for what he did and let her know that he still loves her and it was just one big mistake.  Then he should have given her some space to think about what had happened and his apology so she could then decide whether she would accept his apology or not.

David should never have asked Sally's friend out on a date.  Once he had given her some space, if he didn't hear back from her after a week or so he could have called her and asked her out to dinner so they could talk.  If Sally had decided that she didn’t want him back then he would have to accept that, but if James had been more sincere and caring of her needs, then she may have considered reconciling with him.

Sally decided not to take David back after his mistake and the way he acted afterward.  If David hadn't acted foolish after his first mistake of making with another girl under the influence of drinking, Sally might have forgiven him for his mistake.  David made the big dumped boyfriend mistake by not acting in the correct manner to fix his mistake. If you make a mistake, don't make things worse. Think about what you can do to assuage your estranged girlfriend. Harassing you're ex girlfriend will only result in driving her even further away.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Healthy Relationships - Get Rid Of Blinders For A Complete Vision

Who doesn't want healthy relationships? Everyone. But what comes in the way of our getting it? What needs to be done? You may be surprised to know that not doing  certain things rather than doing certain things could be the key to  healthy relationships. So I will tell you things not to do, you want a great loving relationship.

Relationships are many types but I will focus on the romantic relationships. Much of what we discuss will be equally applicable to other kinds of relationships with friends, families, children, siblings, etc.

When it comes to romantic relationships, people make a lot of mistakes. They overlook very obvious signs of trouble in the beginning. Its' much easier to end a relationship when you start to see signs that the person you're involved with isn't really right for you, early in the relationship. The further the relationship progresses, and the deeper the feelings become, the harder it is to end things.

That's why it's so important to take off the blinders right from the start. Now, a word of caution, you can't get too caught up on every little thing and set your expectations so high that you're being unreasonable either. No one is perfect, not even you. The trick is to find someone as close to your definition of perfect as possible.

Someone who lies, especially early in the relationship when everyone is supposed to be on their best behavior, should be a deal breaker. Someone who is always a few minutes late, while annoying, might be something you will be able to overlook if everything else is wonderful.

You do have to pick and choose, just like they will have to do with you and your foibles. The point is that things that are a sign of a serious character flaw such as lying, cheating, or being abusive are not the kinds of things that should be overlooked. More often than not, these traits tend to get worse with familiarity which means the longer the two of you are together, the worse things will probably become.

So the next time that 'great' new guy you just met makes a 'joke' about how fat you're getting you really need to stop and think. If his 'jokes' bother you, tell him. The way he responds will tell you all you need to know. If he sincerely apologizes for hurting your feelings and follows that apology up by not doing it anymore he was probably really just making a joke and meant no harm.

But if he turns it around on you and blames you for being 'too sensitive' and then continues to do it over and over again (or some variation thereof) he's an abusive person and you should kick him to the curb before it goes any further.

You are sure to find a lot of ideas, tips and advice on   healthy relationships, and most of them can be helpful. But you  just have to use your own common sense to choose what will suit you. As pointed out earlier, ignoring the ignore the warning signs in the early stages can cause the greatest harm to maintaining healthy relationships.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Effective Communication In Relationships - How Importance Is This?



The phrase effective communication in relationships has been used so often that it may be termed a cliche. But it remains one sure way to guarantee that your good relationship stays good. Communication means not just talking about your problems but about sharing  your hopes, dreams and goals etc. And more importantly,  it is also about communicating to the other person how much you care.

Unfortunately, in today's world conversation has only a casual 'love you too'. (Is this not a cliche?) To confirm your love is not bad, but such mechanical conversations are a far cry from effective communication in relationships.

In today's rule of conversation,  you are expected to say things with no real meaning behind the words. We all do it. That is at the basis for poor communication skills in a relationship. If I asked one hundred people if they talk to their spouse as openly and candidly as they do their best friend, I'll bet around 90 of them would say 'no'.

The fact is that  many of us just hold our tongue because we don't want to rock the boat. If things are going well you don't want to raise uncomfortable subjects and ruin the good mood. And if things are going bad you've got enough to deal with without bringing up more issues. So the 'bad' things never get talked about.

Problems in a relationship are not talked about until you're really angry at your spouse and then it all comes out like a tsunami and your spouse is likely feeling a little blindsided. I think we've all been guilty of doing that at one time or another.

It's important for the two of you to be able to talk to each other in a safe environment. Your partner has to know that if they want to talk about something that you're not going to 'attack' them. Whether it's getting mad and yelling, or trying to make them feel guilty because they hurt your feelings. It's all an attack and it's all very manipulative. The point is you have to be willing to listen to it all, good and bad.

Of course, the same  thing holds true for your spouse too. It's got to be give and take. You should both be willing to listen to the issues the other one has and you should both be able to talk about the issues you have, without being punished by getting the cold shoulder or being yelled at.

Your relationship will improve when both of you have enough self confidence to not take everything personally. If your spouse tries to talk to you about a problem and all you hear is "you're not good enough" or "you're not smart enough" or "I don't love you" than the issue is with you, not them. Get that fixed first.

You can do yourself and your partner a favor by learning the skills to effective communication in relationships.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Regaining Trust In A Relationship - An Uphill Task?



Regaining trust in a relationship is possible but it requires a lot of efforts. You can cal it an uphill task. So, the question is: Are you willing to climb up the tough mountain terrain to reach the goal of winning back the trust of your ex? If you are not, then this post may not help you!

Trust can be lost for many reasons. Even trivial incidents like your spouse belittling you in front of others. can affect trust. Other times it can be  more serious issues like  infidelity.  If infidelity is the issue, regaining trust in a relationship may be virtually impossible.

If you're willing to try, step one is to figure out what you did to break the trust in the first place. Obviously, if it was infidelity that will be pretty clear. But if it was something a little less extreme like ridiculing your partner or making fun of them all the time, it might take some digging to figure out why you felt the need to hurt the one person you're supposed to love above everyone else.

Sometimes the more subtle betrayals can be a sign of some deep seated resentment against your partner. You need to get to the bottom of that issue to figure out what it is before you can make any kind of change.

If you've cheated than you will also need to figure out why. In many cases it's about a lot more than just being attracted to another person. It's often a sign that you're unhappy with your partner and / or a severe character flaw of  yours. Whatever the case may be the first step to trying to rebuild trust with your partner is to identify the problems so that you can fix them so you never repeat your mistake.

It's going to take a lot to get your partner to trust you again, the last thing you want to do is to repay that trust by hurting them and betraying them again. Before you ask for a second chance you better make darn sure you're up to the challenge of never betraying them again.

Once you've identified the problem and have taken steps to make sure it doesn't happen again, it's time to talk to your partner. Explain to them that you've been working on yourself and fixing your issues. Ask them for another chance. Even if they say 'yes' you have to understand that you'll essentially be on 'probation' for a long time.

You have to be willing to overlook a little paranoia on their part. It's going to be very difficult for them to completely let their guard down again and it's likely to take quite a long time before they do. They'll need to see a lot of proof that you've really changed first.

Regaining trust in a relationship will take a lot of time, love and patience. It's not impossible if both parties are willing to try, but make sure that both of you enter into the process with your eyes wide open and don't expect a quick fix.

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I am a Management Consultant in the areas of Project Finance, Business Development and Training in Soft Skills, Business Organization and Financial Management. I also conduct coaching classes for Testprep tests like GRE, GMAT, SAT TOEFL and IELTS. I have varied interests that include reading, writing, music, literature and internet business models