This post-affair trauma, in its effects can upset you
a lot and give you an idea of how a life in hell could be, if you were ever to
experience such a life!
It is worthwhile to understand what happens during the phase of a post-affair trauma? The betrayal by your mate will keep haunting you. You will be full of self pity for having been the victim
of the affair. You will fail to perceive things in the
correct perspective. Of course, you will be terribly angry with your cheating partner and find it extremely difficult to deal with the situation using conventional approaches.
The post-affair trauma can generate
a series of thoughts starting from analyzing the causes for the affair
to finding ways to punish the
cheating partner. You will keep imagining scenes of
your lover being in the embrace of
their paramour and even making love to them. These mental images will only
torment you even more intensively.
The thoughts and feelings dominating your mind during
the time you are in the grip of the post-affair trauma can demoralize
you to a great extent but not assist you in any manner. If you wish to cut off the relationship with your
partner, then you will have to initiate steps for formalizing the break with
your partner. With the process of breaking up adding to your pain, you will find your suffering becoming even more
intensified.
But if your
partner genuinely regrets their act of infidelity and wants to forgive them,
you may be willing to make up with them. But the unpleasant thoughts that fill
your mind during the time you are going through the post-affairs trauma
will make the process of reconciliation extremely difficult.
The only way out for you from the post-affair trauma
is to make a serious effort at introspection even as you are going through the
trauma. The best way to do this is to put your thoughts in writing. Difficult
as this exercise may seem, you should force yourself to sit down and put your
thoughts and feelings in writing. After sometime, go through tour writing and
decide for yourself which thoughts are sensible and which are not. Strike off
the thoughts that appear irrational and senseless to you. You will find your
mind slowly turning to become tranquil even as your thinking becomes clearer. effective course are going to be, in your own interest. During this process, you
need to reaffirm your resolve to not be weakened by emotions but be guided by
sensible and empowering thoughts.
The process of coming out of the post-affair trauma
is not easy but if you adopt the above approach, you will emerge stronger from
the agonizing phase.
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