Tuesday, January 27, 2015

After the Affair - Are you still haunted by Your Spouse's Affair?

After the affair - What are your thoughts?

When you are constantly thinking about your spouse's affair, you may be living with the pain and agony for a protracted time. What happens once you learn that your spouse has been disloyal to you? You may either choose to go for a reconciliation if your spouse feels sorry and desires to be devoted to you after ending the affair. In either case, the pains caused by the affair are going to be with you for sometime. It is up to you to on how long you are going to live with the obsession and suffer the pain.

If you choose to be dwelling on your spouse’s affair even while forgiving your spouse and deciding to keep the relationship fine, you will be acting unfair towards your spouse. It is a breach of faith on your part to nurture the bitterness caused by your spouse's unfaithfulness even after  you've condoned their act of indiscretion. it's true that the pain will last for sometime just as a pain from an external injury will, during the time  the wound is healing. However you've got to observe whether or not your pain subsides over time. In several cases, the intensity of the pain can increase over time. This can be a sign that you simply haven't been able to reconcile yourself to the betrayal suffered by you.

Typically, the obsession along with your spouse's affair can affect your thoughts. You may still be thinking that in spite of being kind to your spouse, you've got been cheated by them. This realization can trigger a sense of anger. Either you can ventilate to the present anger by being immoderately irritable with your spouse  and probably with others too or you can suppress it by concealing your anger and refraining from  showing it.  This suppression may cause your anger to grow over time.

Is there a way to come out of this obsession about the affair your spouse  had had? Yes, there is. First of all understand and accept your feelings. If you discover that you are gripped by feelings of anger and bitterness, tell yourself that you simply have to be rid of them  in your own interest. Whenever you are in the company of  your spouse, consciously {think of the great things about them. Recall the occasions on which they have showered their love on you and have shown their concern for you.

Consciously cultivating positive thoughts about  your spouse can facilitate your getting freed  of your obsession with your spouse's affair.

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