Showing posts with label how to get ex back. Show all posts
Showing posts with label how to get ex back. Show all posts

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Getting Back Together After A Break Up


It is a great thing to get back together with your ex after  a break up. But before you decide to reunite with your ex, you have to ask yourself a simple question.

Why did I break up with my lover and why do I want to get back with them?

I called this a simple question but in reality, it is a complicated question. I called it simple because it looks so obvious. It is complicated because it will force you to consider several issues which you have chosen to ignore in your enthusiasm to get back into the relationship.

Reunion of two lovers can take place due to various reasons. The initiative might have been taken by either of them or by a mutual friend. If you broke away from your lover and after sometime you get a feeler from them or from a friend, you may sometimes blindly accept it without thinking. This will happen if you had no anger or hurt feelings towards your ex. Just because, there is no animosity, you may convince yourself that getting back togetherwith your ex is not a bad idea.

But the underlying factors still remain. After all you broke for some reasons. What will happen to those reasons? You can’t wish them away. A break up gives you pain and the pain may last for a while. So, if you receive a proposal for uniting with your ex, you may readily accept it because of an unconscious urge to come out of the pain.

But when you get back with your ex without finding a solution to the problems that caused your relationship to break in the first place, you will face the prospect of the relationship getting into problems again.

So make it a point to satisfy yourself that the reasons that caused your breaking up with your ex have been addressed and that they are not likely to arise again if you are back in the relationship. Getting backtogether with your ex can come only after this.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Websites For Relationship Advice-Take Your Pick



There are so many websites for relationship advice on the internet that they are far too many to count or even itemize in this small article.

Suffice it to say that there are plenty to choose from, all you have to do is to start looking. Any one of the search engines will take you to a list of results pages that would take 100 years or more to get through from the first ranked to the last ranked website for relationship advice.

Most likely you have a specific problem or topic that needs to be addressed and you will find no shortage of answers relating to your problem or topic. If you have something specific to discuss or find a solution for, I am sure that the information you will find has helped millions of other readers at one point or another, as well.

This being the case you will feel like you have so much support from the online world that in itself may make you feel better about your situation. If not, then you can glean what information you can from one site and then move on to another.

Every relationship is different and yet can be so similar in the problems that people face each and every day. You will be able to find answers on communication difficulties in relationships, or dating tips, marriage, sex, divorce, and everything in between.

You can even check out sites dedicated to the opposite sex to find out what is being discussed where. You could gain valuable insight into what the opposite sex is thinking and feeling about certain topics.

Do not let yourself get overwhelmed by the myriad information out there. Stick to your guns and only look for, and pay attention to, advice and suggestions about the topic you need help with otherwise you could just get lost and more confused than ever.

There are also many other ways to get the information you so desire:

Forums are great for finding up-to-date information on any number of topics. Someone always wants to help. You could find threads from someone who has gone through the exact same thing you are going through and you could find your answer immediately without having to delve through so much information.

Online dating sites could be a wealth of information. Some do have Q & A or they post articles about any number of topics.

When you go to these websites and you find one that you think you could trust to give you the best information then sign up for their newsletter. This newsletter will be delivered to your email inbox either daily, weekly or biweekly.

Go to any of the article directories and find hundreds of articles devoted to one subject or another. Sift through them all to find what you need.

Frankly, you could do it the old fashioned way and make a trip to your local library. You can find hundreds of books by various authors, known or not, in the self help section.

It is completely up to you how you feel it is best to get your questions answered. Start searching for websites for relationship advice today.

Monday, April 29, 2013

My Girlfriend Dumped Me--Do I Take Her Back


Relationships are complicated, and each one has its own unique issues and concerns.  And, while some relationships stand the test of time, many aren't quite that lucky.  Unfortunately, in some instances a guy just gets dumped by his girl.  Maybe she has found another guy, or perhaps she has been listening to her mother grumble about the guy for too long, or it could be that she has some other reason for wanting to break up.  In any case, sometimes the girlfriend is the one to end the relationship.

Yet this is not always the end of everything--many times, the girlfriend will contact the guy, wanting another go at the relationship.  This is not such an easy decision to make for the guy.  "My girlfriend dumped me, but now she expects me to just take her back as if nothing happened?"  How is a guy supposed make that type of decision?

If you have found yourself in this type of situation, you have come to the right place.  Here's a guideline you can follow that contains suggestions to help you come to an answer as to whether or not to take your girlfriend back.  Read on for tips on how to reach your final decision.

In order to make a rational determination (in other words, one that is not simply based upon a need or want for sex), it is necessary to do some solid thinking.  Emotions must be cut out of the initial decision-making process.  Yes, this may be difficult if you really love her; however, emotions can cloud your thinking so it is best to block them from your thoughts.

Now, when thinking about whether or not to take your girlfriend back, you need to first think about why it is that she left in the first place.  Did she leave to be with another guy?  Did she break up because she wanted some space?  Or did she dump you because her friends thought she could do better (as in find a better-looking/richer/whatever type of guy)?  The reason she left will give you a big clue as to if you should give her another chance or not.  For instance, if you think she is truly sorry for listening to her friends or that she got the space she needed and is now missing you, maybe another chance would be a good idea. But if she left you for another guy...well, that might mean she wasn't satisfied with you--and that she might cheat on you or leave you again in the future.

Next, consider why she came back after she dumped you.  This, too, will give you good insight.  If she suddenly realized how wonderful you are, take her back.  If she came back because she couldn't find anyone else, though, you'd be making a mistake to try the relationship again.

Think carefully before taking a girlfriend back--"my girlfriend dumped me" isn't the end of the world.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

How Can I Cope When I Miss My Girlfriend



No matter who ends a relationship or why, breakups are painful.  They can make a person feel as if the world is about to end.  The hurt that comes from a breakup can pierce a person's heart, making it feel as if it has broken, or even shattered.  And it is incredibly difficult to get over missing a former mate.

The recovery period after a relationship ends may be a few days long or a few months long--there is no telling how long it will take a person to be ready to move on.  And some people have no idea how to begin getting over an ex, or how to cope with their loss (and yes, the end of a relationship does qualify as a loss, as it is the loss of love).

If this sounds like you, if all you can think is "I miss my girlfriend," then you need to read the suggestions below.  They will help you learn how to get past the heartbreak of this ended relationship, and they will help you to find a way to feel strong enough to move on.

First of all, you do need to know that it is completely ok to feel the way that you are feeling.  A lot of guys tend to hide the fact that they are upset by a breakup; however, it is far healthier to admit that you are sad or angry or hurt.  You should even go ahead and cry if you feel the need.  Make sure to talk to friends about the relationship as well and let them know how you are feeling; good friends will offer advice or insight.

Go ahead and take care of yourself at this time when you are missing your girlfriend.  Pamper yourself, even, by making sure to do the things that you love best.  Rent or Netflix some popular movies (no chick flicks are necessary now!) and snack on your favorite junk food.  Have a guys' poker night or guys' night out.

Now, before you go out and start dating other people you are going to want to get all of your old feelings for your girlfriend out.  Do not do this by calling her or emailing her!  Instead write a letter, including all of the reasons you were hurt and why you miss her.  Also include all of the reasons why you are glad the relationship ended--mention all of her bad habits that used to get on your nerves and all of her irritating little quirks, for instance.  Let everything out in the letter.  But--and this is VERY important--do NOT mail the letter (mailing the letter would be quite counterproductive, as it would bring your girlfriend back into your life).  Burn it instead, as a symbol of letting all of your old feelings dissipate and go away.

When "I miss my girlfriend" is all you can think, try the plan above--it can truly help you to cope when you are feeling as if you cannot go on after a relationship ends.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Tips On How To Get Your Lover Back



If your lover just broke up with you, but you are still deeply in love, chances are you would love to learn how to get your lover back.  After all, your love is telling you that you belong together!  Maybe down deep in your heart you are certain that you are soul mates.  Soul mates deserve to be together, don't they?  Of course they do--but, it may take a bit of time and effort to get your lover to realize that.  Your lover needs to come to understand the reasons why you belong together; only then will he return to you.

There are, however, some ways in which you can help to get your lover to become conscious of the reasons why the two of you are, indeed, made for each other.  If you follow these tips, your relationship will be back on course before long.

--Back away from your lover.

This sounds counterintuitive; after all, you want to be back with your lover, not apart from him.  But, this advice is sound because after a breakup, your lover will need some space and time to think.  If you are constantly hanging around, talking about how much you still love him and need him, it will only serve to make him think that he was right to break up with you because you are overbearing and needy.

Instead, refrain from speaking about your feelings for him.  It is ok to show that you still care; for instance, you could still call him if he has a death in the family.  Do not go overboard, though; buying him a $200 watch for his birthday is not appropriate when you have broken up.  Also, in giving him space and time it is wise to stay away from him most of the time.  Sure, drop in at a party where he will be or grab a coffee at his favorite coffee shop; however, if you do this too often it will seem like you are hovering around him.

--Avoid calling or texting your lover.

This can be difficult, to be sure.  There are likely to be a million times each day that you want to pick up the phone just to call or text him, yet this is the last thing that you should do.  Why?  Well, cutting off communication is the best way to get your lover to begin to miss you.  And, if he starts to miss you, that will certainly lead to him coming back to you!

--Live your own life.

Don't sit at home sulking and crying about your breakup.  It is important that you go out and have fun with your friends and spend time with family--even if you really do not feel like doing so.  This is because your lover will hear what you have been doing, and you don't want him to hear that you have simply been pining away for him.

If you give your lover a chance to see that your relationship is meant to be, you will get your lover back.

Friday, April 26, 2013

I Want My Husband Back--What Can I Do


If your husband has left you, or if you and your husband are currently separated, you may now be thinking, "I want my husband back."  You may also be wondering what you can do to make that happen--or questioning if it is even possible.  Frankly, you are right to be uncertain about whether or not you can make your husband come back to you.  After all, getting your husband to want to return to you will take work, determination, and perseverance.

Your success will depend upon your ability to keep making an effort, even if it may seem hopeless at times.  In other words, you can get your husband back--if you don't back down and stop trying.

Now that you know that it is, indeed, possible to get your husband to come back, you are certainly wondering how it is that you are supposed to actually go about the process of getting him back.  First of all, you need to know that the following plans will work differently for each couple's situation.  You also need to know that there is no set time-frame for how long it will take to get your husband to come back to you, as that depends completely upon your individual relationship.  Just keep working with these ideas and you will eventually see success.

--Be his friend.

This is the first step.  Instead of trying to be his wife, be your husband's friend.  Whenever you and he are together (no matter the setting), just show him that you can be around him without getting emotional.  Refrain from speaking about the marriage at all; instead, just have fun together as you would with any friend.

The point of this is simple.  When the tensions and stresses of marital life have been removed from your relationship, your husband will once again see what a wonderful person you are.  He will start to see why he fell for you in the first place, and he will start to fall for you all over again.

--Quit contacting him.

Stop calling him, especially in regards to asking him to come back.  In fact, you should only call him if you need to; for instance, you should call your husband if there is a death in the family or some other important emergency.  Otherwise, do not contact him.

The reason for not calling your husband is to give him time and space.  This will allow him to begin to miss you.  After all, if you are calling him every day, how can he miss being with you?

--Make him want you.

It is a good idea to change or update your appearance in order to gain your husband's interest.  Making yourself look good will also make you feel good, and this will work to attract your husband.  Be just a bit flirty when you see your husband, but don't overdo it--let him make the first move.


When "I want my husband back" is all you can think of, follow these plans--they will work for you if you try.

The Crucial Step in Relationship Building



Love is a journey in itself. There are ups and downs to everything. When your love goes sour, you end up shutting everything out. It’s hard to deal with life when it seems to hit you right back in the face. You do feel as if a part of you is gone, and that’s something that just can’t be salvaged. But life goes on and time does really heal all wounds.

You need to work on yourself first before you can do anything sensible. You try to move on and save your relationship. You talk to them and convince them to take you back. You even apologize for the things you didn’t do or for something that is not even your fault. You make promises that are hard to keep and basically beg. In the end, you put yourself so low that you don’t even deserve respect. And even if you’ve done everything, your ex becomes more and more defensive. The more you try, the further you push them away.

Is this the way to go? You need some self-respect. People will only love you if they see that you love yourself. In fact, you may wake up one day and realize that you are the kind of person that people detest because you just do things that are ridiculous. Love shouldn’t make you look this way. In fact, it should leave you feeling happy. Purchase T Dub’s eBook because he has discovered the true recipe for love. The best part is, you maintain your dignity.

Monday, April 22, 2013

How Do I Get My Ex Back - Your Answer To The Question






You might have asked yourself the question “how do I get my ex back?” recently.

If you have asked yourself that question, the good news is that you are not alone.  All over the country there are people suffering from the same condition that you are.  They have been dumped by someone they love and for that reason are finding it hard to let go of that person.  You might not think that you are hung up on the person, but you owe it to your own mental well-being in order to make sure.  There is a thin line between seeking a healthy renewal of a relationship with an ex and obsession.  The moment you cross that line, you have taken the road to making your life miserable.

There are actually many ways for you to tell whether you are taking the road to ruin or whether you genuinely do feel that resuming things with the ex would be a healthy way to go forward.  If you feel the uncontrollable urge to push the issue every time you think about it, chances are pretty good that you are taking the road to ruin.  If you feel like you can bide your time and develop a friendship with your former lover before taking things back to the next level, you are in healthy mentality area.  Generally speaking, your mindset and the first strategies that come to your mind will give you away.

This fits in nicely with the strategies that don’t work and the ones that do.  The strategies that you’d think of when you were obsessing would mostly be strategies that had no chance of working.  The strategies that you’d come up with (like going through friendship) when thinking about building healthy relationships are the ones that really have the chance of working.

Whatever you do, you do not want to rush things with your ex.  If they broke up with you, they are going to need to get over the breakup before they can be coaxed back into a relationship.  This is true even if you broke up with them since it is hurt rather than distaste that they need to get over.  The truth of the matter is that you need to give them a lot of time and space at first, gradually closing both the time and the space as you begin to get your foot back in the door with them.  It may not be pretty, but it is definitely going to be the best chance that you have.

At the start of this article, you asked a question.  You asked “how do I get my ex back?”  The answer is now available to you in the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  If you take these methods here and apply them to your own life, you will have a better chance at getting your ex back than you would have from any other strategy you could employ.  That is a fact.  It is the truth without any sugar-coating.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Is Writing Letters To Get Your Ex Back Really A Good Idea







People try various ways to get back with your ex. Will writing letters help you to get your ex back?  This is a question that needs to be looked in with some depth. Writing letters has been a traditional mode of communication for lovers. Now that writing letters is not so common a practice as it was earlier, people use other kinds of text-based correspondence like text messages, e-mails etc. in keeping with the present state of technology in the area of communication.

Many people find text based communication a very convenient way of communication when trying to get an ex-lover to fall in love with them again. There can be some advantages with this method and some disadvantages as well. On the positive side, writing letters will allow you to express feelings that you might not otherwise be able to express.  You can be more direct, more detailed and more specific than you can in oral communication which will be severely inhibited by personal factors. That beings us to the negative aspects of writing letters.

 Letters are quite impersonal.  A letter can never be a substitute for a direct talk which will be spontaneous and effusive. Whether you want to  break up with your ex or get back with your ex, conveying your feelings orally will be the most effective way. But many people just lack the courage for doing this and resort to texting.  If you want to get your ex back, writing a letter is not the best way to achieve your objective. Moreover, getting a letter or text message from you will make your ex feel being distant from you. Oral communication, on the other hand will bring you closer. When you are face to face, sometimes, some physical act like an affectionate hug or a passionate kiss can bring about instant change in the relationship.
 Does it mean that writing letters should never be resorted to? No. The letter can serve as a good starting point in improving your relationship. But you should always follow it up with a personal contact which will help you get your ex back

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Should You Not Win Back A Love You Will Cherish A Lifetime?




Of all those who have suffered a break up, only some want to win back a love. I am sure you are one of this tribe. Why do you want to do this? If you say you cherish your being together with your life and crave for that experience to continue for a life time, then you deserve to get your ex back. If you have such intense feelings towards the times you were in the company of your ex, your ex is also likely to have similar feelings. After all love in infectious and a deep love of one person is bound to find an appropriate response. Therefore, your ex may also be thinking of ways to win back a love that they will cherish for a lifetime.
Wondering ‘what if..’ or ‘if only…’ is not going to take you anywhere near getting your ex back. You need to take action. Let me quickly spell out an action plan for you.

  1. If you know where your ex is now, it is fine. Otherwise find them.
  2.  Find out their status. What are they up to/ Are thy dating someone else? It will be possible to find out their feelings about you through some common contacts.
  3. The next step to win back a love you will cherish a life time is to establish contact with them. Calling them over phone may be premature. Sending a text message may be intrusive. The best way is the time old practice of writing a letter. Pour out your feelings in the letter.
  4. You may get a quick response making it easy to get your ex back. But if you don’t, do not give up. Wait. If their feelings of anger and resentment are deep, it will take some time for them to be tempered. If they are in another relationship, then either they would never get back to you or they would after sometime.
  5. If your ex responds, then your next step in your efforts to win back a love will depend on how they respond. If they send you a letter, then continue with the same mode of communication till the time is ripe for making a phone call. If they text you or call you over phone, then the process of getting back with your ex will be speeded up.


It may seem as if you are building a new relationship. But with patience and perseverance, you will succeed in your attempts to win back a love that you will cherish for a lifetime.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back Quickly Without Driving Her Further Away From You

Are you serious about learning what to do to get your ex girlfriend back? You may say, 'yes.' But you should mean this. Please realize is that your girl friend may  no longer trust you or believe what you say.. the silver lining is that she  may still love you even though since she broke up with you because of her perception that  you treated her so badly. Here is a step by step approach to get your girlfriend quickly without driving her further away.

1) Figure out the reason, or reasons, why you treated her so badly in the first place. It is a fact of life that everything that happens, happens for some reason and everything has its own special set of consequences, good or bad. If you really want a second chance with your ex girlfriend, you need to figure out why you act and say the things you do. Then, when you have things figured out you need to find ways to change your behavior and that will probably will take some time.

2) When someone behaves badly, it is possibly due to their insecurities coming to the forefront because they do not know how to handle a situation correctly. People may not accept this but usually that is the reason. Contrary to popular belief, money is not the root of all evil, insecurity is.

3) Are over-compensating because you feel inadequate and do you think that by acting like a 'big man' and letting your girl know 'who is the boss'; you are some how "more of a man" ? You need to think again. This is one of the surest signs that you are actually not 'the big man' and that you are in fact a scared little boy who desperately wants the love of your woman but are too afraid to let her know that or ask for it.

She probably already does know that, on some level at least. Everyone can see when someone is trying to over-compensate. It's very common, you see it all the time. The guy with the really loud motorcycle, or another guy will treat his girl like garbage, still another guy will try to prove he is a man by sleeping with every woman out there but none of these things is the way to get your ex girlfriend back.

If you really are a secure man, you won't need to work so hard to try and prove it. If you concentrate all your efforts on being a decent, caring, honest human being those around you will have more respect and trust for you and if you really want to be the 'big man' that is a much better way to go about it than all the other BS.

4) Don't expect your ex girlfriend to trust you right away. No matter how hard you may try to convince her that you've changed, actions speak louder than words and if you're really serious about getting her back you will have to show her that you have changed. That will take time.  If you're not willing to invest that time it is best that you just let her go to find someone else who can treat her the way she deserves to be treated and forget about trying to get your ex girlfriend back.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Break Up Help - Available Right Here - Have It Right Now

Are you looking for break up help? Probably, since you are reading this. If your relationship is on the verge of a break up, here is help you can avail of.. We can help you to understand to get the relationship fixed. Obviously, there are things you should do and things you shouldn't .

Things you shouldn't do:
You shouldn't ever break up with someone over the phone or by text or email. This is just about the tackiest thing you could do. Break up with them in person, in private. Don't humiliate them by breaking up in public. You will have more respect for yourself and they will have more respect for you.

Obviously, if your significant other has a tendency to become violent this advice will not apply to your situation. Stay safe and handle the break up over the phone or in a very public place.

Being honest is vital, but if the reason you need break up help is that you have met someone else, keep that information to yourself. If they ask, don't tell them.

I know this sounds contradictory but you will hurt them more if you tell them. There is no point in causing them more pain than they feel already. Go ahead and start your new relationship, but do yourself a favor and try to go to different restaurants and clubs, at least for a while.  Make your new memories together in new places, special to just the two of you.

Plan out what you want to say before hand because no matter how you feel you will be nervous when breaking up with them. Stand your ground. You have made this decision  for a reason so stick to it. You will sound less convincing if you try to let them down easy. They will be just as hurt either way so state your reasons calmly and confidently. The respect thing comes in to play here again.

After the break up, don't call your ex for any reason and don't take their calls. This will only give them false hope and keep the hurt fresh in both your minds. Don't kid yourself, you will feel a sense of loss after the break up, too. Change the habits the two of you had.  Go to a different coffee house to get your morning coffee and find a new spot to eat your meals. You do not want to run into your ex accidentally. 

If you haven't already met someone new, it's probably best to hold off on dating for a while. Rebound relationships almost never work and you do not need any more drama or grief. You may have had more time to process the break up, but you should still give yourself additional time to adjust to your new single life. Even if you're the one who ended the relationship, you can be susceptible to getting into a rebound relationship too, so give yourself some time.

You should be aware that things can be tough whether you have contributed to the break up or not. Unless you are fed up with your ex, you will like to find a way to restore the relationship.The suggestions given above will provide all the break up help you need.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Healthy Relationships - Get Rid Of Blinders For A Complete Vision

Who doesn't want healthy relationships? Everyone. But what comes in the way of our getting it? What needs to be done? You may be surprised to know that not doing  certain things rather than doing certain things could be the key to  healthy relationships. So I will tell you things not to do, you want a great loving relationship.

Relationships are many types but I will focus on the romantic relationships. Much of what we discuss will be equally applicable to other kinds of relationships with friends, families, children, siblings, etc.

When it comes to romantic relationships, people make a lot of mistakes. They overlook very obvious signs of trouble in the beginning. Its' much easier to end a relationship when you start to see signs that the person you're involved with isn't really right for you, early in the relationship. The further the relationship progresses, and the deeper the feelings become, the harder it is to end things.

That's why it's so important to take off the blinders right from the start. Now, a word of caution, you can't get too caught up on every little thing and set your expectations so high that you're being unreasonable either. No one is perfect, not even you. The trick is to find someone as close to your definition of perfect as possible.

Someone who lies, especially early in the relationship when everyone is supposed to be on their best behavior, should be a deal breaker. Someone who is always a few minutes late, while annoying, might be something you will be able to overlook if everything else is wonderful.

You do have to pick and choose, just like they will have to do with you and your foibles. The point is that things that are a sign of a serious character flaw such as lying, cheating, or being abusive are not the kinds of things that should be overlooked. More often than not, these traits tend to get worse with familiarity which means the longer the two of you are together, the worse things will probably become.

So the next time that 'great' new guy you just met makes a 'joke' about how fat you're getting you really need to stop and think. If his 'jokes' bother you, tell him. The way he responds will tell you all you need to know. If he sincerely apologizes for hurting your feelings and follows that apology up by not doing it anymore he was probably really just making a joke and meant no harm.

But if he turns it around on you and blames you for being 'too sensitive' and then continues to do it over and over again (or some variation thereof) he's an abusive person and you should kick him to the curb before it goes any further.

You are sure to find a lot of ideas, tips and advice on   healthy relationships, and most of them can be helpful. But you  just have to use your own common sense to choose what will suit you. As pointed out earlier, ignoring the ignore the warning signs in the early stages can cause the greatest harm to maintaining healthy relationships.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Effective Communication In Relationships - How Importance Is This?



The phrase effective communication in relationships has been used so often that it may be termed a cliche. But it remains one sure way to guarantee that your good relationship stays good. Communication means not just talking about your problems but about sharing  your hopes, dreams and goals etc. And more importantly,  it is also about communicating to the other person how much you care.

Unfortunately, in today's world conversation has only a casual 'love you too'. (Is this not a cliche?) To confirm your love is not bad, but such mechanical conversations are a far cry from effective communication in relationships.

In today's rule of conversation,  you are expected to say things with no real meaning behind the words. We all do it. That is at the basis for poor communication skills in a relationship. If I asked one hundred people if they talk to their spouse as openly and candidly as they do their best friend, I'll bet around 90 of them would say 'no'.

The fact is that  many of us just hold our tongue because we don't want to rock the boat. If things are going well you don't want to raise uncomfortable subjects and ruin the good mood. And if things are going bad you've got enough to deal with without bringing up more issues. So the 'bad' things never get talked about.

Problems in a relationship are not talked about until you're really angry at your spouse and then it all comes out like a tsunami and your spouse is likely feeling a little blindsided. I think we've all been guilty of doing that at one time or another.

It's important for the two of you to be able to talk to each other in a safe environment. Your partner has to know that if they want to talk about something that you're not going to 'attack' them. Whether it's getting mad and yelling, or trying to make them feel guilty because they hurt your feelings. It's all an attack and it's all very manipulative. The point is you have to be willing to listen to it all, good and bad.

Of course, the same  thing holds true for your spouse too. It's got to be give and take. You should both be willing to listen to the issues the other one has and you should both be able to talk about the issues you have, without being punished by getting the cold shoulder or being yelled at.

Your relationship will improve when both of you have enough self confidence to not take everything personally. If your spouse tries to talk to you about a problem and all you hear is "you're not good enough" or "you're not smart enough" or "I don't love you" than the issue is with you, not them. Get that fixed first.

You can do yourself and your partner a favor by learning the skills to effective communication in relationships.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Regaining Trust In A Relationship - An Uphill Task?



Regaining trust in a relationship is possible but it requires a lot of efforts. You can cal it an uphill task. So, the question is: Are you willing to climb up the tough mountain terrain to reach the goal of winning back the trust of your ex? If you are not, then this post may not help you!

Trust can be lost for many reasons. Even trivial incidents like your spouse belittling you in front of others. can affect trust. Other times it can be  more serious issues like  infidelity.  If infidelity is the issue, regaining trust in a relationship may be virtually impossible.

If you're willing to try, step one is to figure out what you did to break the trust in the first place. Obviously, if it was infidelity that will be pretty clear. But if it was something a little less extreme like ridiculing your partner or making fun of them all the time, it might take some digging to figure out why you felt the need to hurt the one person you're supposed to love above everyone else.

Sometimes the more subtle betrayals can be a sign of some deep seated resentment against your partner. You need to get to the bottom of that issue to figure out what it is before you can make any kind of change.

If you've cheated than you will also need to figure out why. In many cases it's about a lot more than just being attracted to another person. It's often a sign that you're unhappy with your partner and / or a severe character flaw of  yours. Whatever the case may be the first step to trying to rebuild trust with your partner is to identify the problems so that you can fix them so you never repeat your mistake.

It's going to take a lot to get your partner to trust you again, the last thing you want to do is to repay that trust by hurting them and betraying them again. Before you ask for a second chance you better make darn sure you're up to the challenge of never betraying them again.

Once you've identified the problem and have taken steps to make sure it doesn't happen again, it's time to talk to your partner. Explain to them that you've been working on yourself and fixing your issues. Ask them for another chance. Even if they say 'yes' you have to understand that you'll essentially be on 'probation' for a long time.

You have to be willing to overlook a little paranoia on their part. It's going to be very difficult for them to completely let their guard down again and it's likely to take quite a long time before they do. They'll need to see a lot of proof that you've really changed first.

Regaining trust in a relationship will take a lot of time, love and patience. It's not impossible if both parties are willing to try, but make sure that both of you enter into the process with your eyes wide open and don't expect a quick fix.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Tips On How To Get My Wife To Love Me Again

No one wants to see their loving marriage dissolve into indifference. It can be a painful thing to watch, it can also leave you feeling utterly helpless and unable to stop it. If you just don't feel the love anymore and you want the answer to the question: how to get my wife to love me again, than there are a few things you can try. There is no guarantee it will work, sometimes by the time you ask the question it's already too late, but you've got nothing to lose by giving it a try.

Marriage can be a weird relationship. The longer the two of you are together the more comfortable you can feel with each other but at the same time there is more of a chance that the two of you will grow in different directions.  This is a very common problem and since it happens slowly, over a period of years, it can be very easy to miss the signs until it's too late.

That is the first thing you should do, try to identify how you've changed since you and your wife have been together. Have the changes you've had been positive or negative?For most of us, we can say that a lot of the changes are negative. We used to have big plans, dreams and ambitions,  but now we come home from work and veg out in front of the t.v. until it's time for bed. Boring. If you used to be full of hope and promise and now you seem like you've given up, you may simply not be the same man your wife originally fell in love with.

The sad thing is that not only may your wife not feel the same way about you now, you may not feel the same way about yourself. If you've just given up on your dreams you are probably unhappy with yourself deep inside. Try to rekindle some of those passions, it will make you happier and remind your wife of the man she fell in love with all those years ago.  It's a win/ win.

Have you let yourself go?  If you used to be fit and strong but now you're more pudgy than toned, maybe you should hit the gym. It will be good for you and it might help rev up her enthusiasm a little bit too.

Do you treat your wife the way you used to? Probably not. We can all fall into the trap of taking our partner for granted, the longer you are together the easier it is to do. She may well do the same thing to you.  Try to get back to some of the patterns of behavior you used to have in the early days of the relationship.  If you used to get her flowers every now and then 'just because' it may be time to start that tradition again. 

Don't make things harder than they have to be.  The answer to the question how to get my wife to love me again, might be as simple as going back in time and acting more like the man you used to be rather than the man you've become. It might just be good for both of you.

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I am an explorer of the web world. I scout for interesting and useful things in the net and share my findings with all those interested in them.