Effective Communication In Relationships - How Importance Is This?

The phrase effective communication in relationships has been used so often that it may be termed a cliche. But it remains one sure way to guarantee that your good relationship stays good. Communication means not just talking about your problems but about sharing  your hopes, dreams and goals etc. And more importantly,  it is also about communicating to the other person how much you care.

Unfortunately, in today's world conversation has only a casual 'love you too'. (Is this not a cliche?) To confirm your love is not bad, but such mechanical conversations are a far cry from effective communication in relationships.

In today's rule of conversation,  you are expected to say things with no real meaning behind the words. We all do it. That is at the basis for poor communication skills in a relationship. If I asked one hundred people if they talk to their spouse as openly and candidly as they do their best friend, I'll bet around 90 of them would say 'no'.

The fact is that  many of us just hold our tongue because we don't want to rock the boat. If things are going well you don't want to raise uncomfortable subjects and ruin the good mood. And if things are going bad you've got enough to deal with without bringing up more issues. So the 'bad' things never get talked about.

Problems in a relationship are not talked about until you're really angry at your spouse and then it all comes out like a tsunami and your spouse is likely feeling a little blindsided. I think we've all been guilty of doing that at one time or another.

It's important for the two of you to be able to talk to each other in a safe environment. Your partner has to know that if they want to talk about something that you're not going to 'attack' them. Whether it's getting mad and yelling, or trying to make them feel guilty because they hurt your feelings. It's all an attack and it's all very manipulative. The point is you have to be willing to listen to it all, good and bad.

Of course, the same  thing holds true for your spouse too. It's got to be give and take. You should both be willing to listen to the issues the other one has and you should both be able to talk about the issues you have, without being punished by getting the cold shoulder or being yelled at.

Your relationship will improve when both of you have enough self confidence to not take everything personally. If your spouse tries to talk to you about a problem and all you hear is "you're not good enough" or "you're not smart enough" or "I don't love you" than the issue is with you, not them. Get that fixed first.

You can do yourself and your partner a favor by learning the skills to effective communication in relationships.